TrollReaper Reads: The Evil GodsPart One
by ElletheUndead
Summary: Ever wondered what it would be like if a member of the Westboro church took over Camp Half Blood? Yeah? Well, then, this is the right story.
1. Chapter 1

_HELLO! I am back with another TrollReaper reads. Hope you enjoy. Also, 'My Immortal' will be published when I am done with 'Twila!'_

Believer in Christ: Hello Jesus!**(I highly doubt that you chatted online with Jesus)**

Jesus: Hello my son.  
>Believer in Christ: Am I saved by writing this story.<br>Jesus: Yes my son.  
>Believer in Christ: Good. Now should I go hunt down those Satanists.<br>Jesus: Yes my son.  
>Disclaimer: I do not own the Bible, God does. I will not feel sorry for using Percy Jackson as it is evil and should not have a disclaimer.<strong>(How is Percy Jackson <em>evil<em>? It's a fictional series!)**

**Being Together The Army**

_Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. -Proverbs 16:18_

I am Jerry**(I am pissing my pants. The name Jerry is soooo scary.)**and I am a prayer warrior. I am a servent of the lord and will do anything to get rid of evil Gods**(Hm...)**. Lately the Satanic leader Percy Jackson**(Percy? Satanic? By the way, a Trojan commercial just came on)**has taken over much of the land, along with his Satanic Army and his girlfriend whore**(Annabeth is not a whore. Far from one)**. She has sex with other people just to get Satanic money.**(Um... no.)**

That means that I have to get an army together of Christians, so that we can defeat the servents of Satan, and defeat his evil puppets, the false greek gods, who are in fact a lie created by Satan to poison people`s mind.**(You know nothing of the Greek gods. _Nothing_)**

_Take heed to thyself that thou be not snared by following them, after that they be destroyed from before thee; and that thou enquire not after their gods, saying, How did these nations serve their gods? even so will I do likewise. – Deuteronomy 12:30_

"Hello my fellow Christian" I told Mary, who is named after Jesus`s Mother. I and her are not dating, if you Satanic scum think that there is something Satanic going on**(So I'm Satanic because I've _dated_?)** We are dating**(Oxymoron much?)**, but we are not having Sex until we get married. But because we are 15, it means that it is going to be while before we do such a thing.**(Okay, I don't think there's anything wrong with being a virgin 'till your married. I got to wear a pretty veil!)**

"Yes Jerry, how are you. Have you been doing the lord`s biddings?" she asked me. I nodded my head and then she took out the bible and we read the first Chapter of Genesis, which is about the the creation of the world. We talk about how God was so good that he was kind to create a great world as we live in.**(The world is great, the humans that inhabit it are not)**

_He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him. -Proverbs 18:13_

Then we discuss about how Satan had poisoned the world by inventing false gods such as Zeus and Venus, who were sex gods,**(While Zeus and Aphrodite _did_ enjoy having sex, they are _not_ sex gods)**hich is against the Ten commandments.

"I need an Army to defeat the evil leader Percy Jackson" I asked her. I wanted an army so that I could defeat this Satanist and his ungodly army. This is America which is a Christian nation**(No, America is a nation of all religions, _not_ just Christianity.)** so Satanist, athesit, hindu, muslims, buddhist, and any other non-god fearing people, who worshiped false gods, should not be allowed in this God fearing Nation**(You know what, as a girl who was raised a Catholic, I will disagree with you. You should meet Miss. Rxe Rex and have a lovely conversation on this. Simply because other people don't have the same beliefs you have doesn't mean they should be shunned, mother effer)** We must get rid of them, and make them slaves**(No one should be a slave to anyone!)**, if they agree to being a fellow Christian. Once they truly believe in God and his son, Jesus, then would we release them to bring glory to God and his son. If they still did not believe, we would burn then, just as their fellow Satanist did when they refused to worship our lord Jesus Christ. "I want to bring Glory to God"

_Their bows also shall dash the young men to pieces; and they shall have no pity on the fruit of the womb; their eyes shall not spare children.-Isaiah 13:18_

"Then I will show you my Christian friends. You will not find a ungodly one among them**(Will you please stop with the 'holier than thou' attitude, please?)** There are as clean as you can get them" she told me. She had a her hair tied back so that it would not get in her and not look like a Satanic whore**(*Puts hair all around face* YAAAAHHH!)** She also made sure that her skirt did not show any of her legs, or else it would be a sin for a man such as myself to look at it**(My gentlemen fans, don't get mad. Men, by nature, are horny. They WILL look at you. But looking at a woman's ankles doesn't make you a sinner. BTW, same goes for women. We have sex drives, too, you know.)**

And that was when I got message that a follower of the Satanic leader Percy Jackson. He was there to force people in believing in false gods** (Percy does _not_ force people to worship things that they don't believe in)**that made their followers get naked and perform Satanic killings.**(Wait, WHAT?)**

_Also thou shalt not approach unto a woman to uncover her nakedness, as long as she is put apart for her uncleanness. -Leviticus 18:19_

_But the prophet, which shall presume to speak a word in my name, which I have not commanded him to speak, or that shall speak in the name of other gods, even that prophet shall die. -Deuteronomy 18:20_

So I went down stair to face the false prophet. He was a believer in false nature gods, such as Pan, who is Satan in disguise**(Pan is _not_ Satan in disguise. Get your head out of the gutter.)** He had big Satanic horns**(*Headdesk*)** so that everyone that was Christian could tell that he was a Satanist.**(Alright, all you Aries', you are all Satanic *Eye roll* Really? Really?)**

"Believe in my god Pan" said the Satyr. "I am Grover**(I love Grover!)**and I am servent of Pan and Satan, who are great gods. They are better then God and Jesus**(Grover wouldn't say that!)**

_He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed. -Exodus 22:20_

So to defeat this Satanic scum, me, Mary and one of her Christian friends that was there, her name was Ruth**(Okay, this kid is inferring that if we don't have Christian names, we are Satanic. NO! I am a Christian!)** prayed to God and our lord Jesus Christ, to bring down this false prophet. And behold, a group of locus came from the heavens and ate Grover alive. No part of his body, other then his guts and his brains, was left. No even his bones remained.**(That's pseudo-science for you)**

_And the LORD said unto Moses, Stretch out thine hand over the land of Egypt for the locusts, that they may come up upon the land of Egypt, and eat every herb of the land, even all that the hail hath left. -Exodus 10:12_

So we brought glory to God. We killed a sheep so that we can say thanks to God**(You do realize we don't do animal sacrifices because Jesus died for us, right? Plus, that's really inhumane.)** Then we went back church and prayed some more. We read the Bible and how Paul convert many people to God. Then Mary`s friends came and we made them members of the Order of the Prayer Warriors.**(But I thought they were _women_)**

_Their children also shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and their wives ravished. -Isaiah 13:16_

Believers in Christ: Thank you for read this and I hope you have turn to the glory of God and his eternal son Jesus Christ, the greatest thing to ever happen to this earth. May all that read this be save.  
>Jesus: You done me well son.<br>Believer in Christ: Thank you my lord for giving me live and allow me to write this. Amen.**(You did _not_ chat online with Jesus, so stop putting this dumb snippets. Okay? You are mocking my Lord and my saviour.)**


	2. Chapter 2

Believer in Christ: The Holy One has return.  
>Christ Himself: Yes you have. You have been blessed.<strong>(Really?)<strong>

Believer in Christ: And with this blessing I will rid the world demons.  
>Christ Himself: The unholy ones are thee, Theia47, SonnyGoten, ImagingThings and TheBratMan.<br>Believer in Christ: Thee have wage war on our lord Jesus Christ and must be ridden!  
>Chirst Himself: And Alistairlevi13 for serving the dark lord Satan!<br>Believer in Christ: May all these wevil***WEVIL!*** ones burn in hell! Amen.  
>Christ Himself: Bless my son.<br>Believer in Christ: Thank you my lord! Amen and amen.

**Defeating the Whore!**

A prayer (speak it out load to be save, you unholy ones. If you do not do so, then to the depth of hell you unsaved souls will go forever!): _I believe in everyone that is spoken with this holy word, and will follow it so the full command, even ridding the world of those flithly atheist! Amen and amen!_**(That's not a prayer. That's hate speech)**

_And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire. -Leviticus 21:9_

And we met to plan a attack on those evil beings**(WHAT evil beings? It would really help us to know)** We discussed their weakness, and their desires to turn the good Christian world away from our glorious one and only great god of all nation, our lord Jesus Christ (fear all you athiest, jewish, muslim, buddhist and all others**(BUDDHA!)**that defy this great God that will punish you and send you to hell, where you will burn for in all eternal history, where your body will torn apart, and spread across a endless, lifeless land, where you will be eaten by all foul breast**(A foul. _breast?_ I did not know this was a yaoi.)** You will all be punish, all of you. God does not put up with such evil things with this God fearing nation. And that nation is not just America, but all of the world**(He means Canada)** This is God`s world! And you athiest must convert, pray for all your wrong doings, and believe that our lord Jesus Christ is the one and only true God! Amen).

So we decided that we will attack a rational study group**(Are you talking about rational numbers?)** for they work foul thins which the lord Jesus Christ forbid. We brought hundred of our most faithful servents to come along to see such Godful work!

"All hail Stan**(Stan... I love South Park)**" they yelled. "We will serve the devil. We will corrupt the nation of God to bring everyone too hell, where they will will burn for in all eternal history, where their body will tourn apart, and spread across a endless, lifeless land, where they will be eaten by all foul breast**(BREAST? Calm cho tits, Thomas)** We must KILL GOD! GOD IS DEAD!" I was so dishearten by this comment that I want to rip the mans head of and fed it to the dog.

"Behold the greatest servent of the lord" I yelled to those foul things that call themselves people. "I have come to kill you all in the glory of our lord Jesus Christ".

"On behalf of our Satanic god Zeus, God of Whores,**(Do you know _nothing_ of Greek mythology?)**we will slain you all. And we will send to hell!" said Clarisse La Rue, the leader of such an evil gang**(Well, at least he knows Clarisse is a bitch)** Mad as I could be, I ran towards her and sliced of her unholy, God-riding hair! Her head rolled on the ground as the unbelievers scream. As the began to run we cached up to them and killed them all. We left the bodies to rot in the group, for they did not deserved to be buried**(*Headdesk* To qoute Miss Rex 'They can leave us rotting, but we'll be back, because the unburied never really die.'** We left people to guard the bodies, to stop any of the unbelievers into getting them.

_The memory of the just is blessed: but the name of the wicked shall rot. -Proverbs 10:7_

And we came across a temple that is a worship ground of the evil goddess Artemis, where she and her daughters**(Artemis is a _virgin._)** kill holy lambs to the god of whores**(Yes, because a virgin goddess totally approves of whores)**. And it made me sick!**(This story gives me a 156 temperature)**

"You must all be punish" I yelled to the sinners, the filth of the Godful world that our lord Jesus Christ rules over for eternal history, ever and ever, amen and amen! "You must boy down to our God (the only truth that must be offered in this day and age) or witness the wrath of Jesus of Nazareth, who is the one and only true God! Amen. Commit!"**(Commit _what?_)**

"We will never bowed down to your Godful kind, for we want to corrupt the youth and bring war upon the world. WE ARE THE CAUSE FOR EVERYTHING, INCLUDING WORLD WAR 1 AND 2, THE WAR IN IRAQ, AND THE VIETNAM WAR**(Because fictional characters can totally cause war)** WE WANT TO BRING SUFFERING TO EVERYONE! We will send every single God fearing Christian servents of the lord Jesus Christ to the death row**(You can't send someone to _death row_ just because of their religion in America, stupid.)**You will all be punished" said Annabeth, Zeus most famous whore!**(Zeus had sex with** **_Annabeth?_ You are fucking sick)**

"All praise and glory to Jesus Christ, to whom I owe everything" I declared to the Dogful**(Hhahahahahahaha)** and Christian like world!

Annabeth laughed. "Those ways are old and tired. Our way is much better" she screamed.

"But at least our way works! Amen" I said to the Satanic and filthful whore. So I charged at her, grabbed her hair, and dragged her across the muddy and filthful road, where I got an axe and sliced her head open, and let all kinds of Godful worms eat her alive, letting none of her brain to survive.**(No whore deserves to be treated like that. Half of the prostitutes do it for the _money_. I truly pity them.)**

THE WHORE WAS FINALLY DEAD! AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN!

And we had a holy party where we prayed to God and sang hymns of his greatness and glory. We did not drink, nor did we have sex,**(Because at regular peoples' birthday parties, everyone has a huge orgy. REALLY?)**for that will make us look bad. We were Christians and did not live like those filthy Atheist that mush all die! Amen.

PS: Priest do not have sex, so the church is not in trouble. It is holy and will be obey by all people!**(.Eff?)**

_̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡̡._

_Chapter Two Review-_

_Annabeth is a virgin, not a whore. Honestly, just because someone has sex, that does NOT make them a whore. Okay? Learn that, mother fucker. Good bye-_

_Elle Chatsworth._


	3. Chapter 3

Believer in Christ: Who will burn in hell?  
>Jesus Christ: Anyone that curse ye profits such as you.<br>Believer in Christ: Yes, and this includes lazorboy96, JzeHampen, G.J. Forever and PorschePower911. You will burn in hell for mocking me.  
>Jesus Christ: I will make sure that this comes true. Amen.<p>

We are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousness are as filthy rags. =Isaiah 64:6

A good new aroused to us**(Do you have any idea how wrong that sentence sounds. Did you really have to put the word 'aroused' in there?)**today with death of the Satan being Osama Bin Laden. His death brought joy to all those that followed our ways. Mass murderers like him should never have been allowed to be born at all. His mother should have killed him at birth.**(Okay, stop. I'm pretty sure his mom didn't know what he was going to do when he grew up.)**

And so we prayed that God will destroy all other Muslims for they are evil and must be ridden off, along with all the nonbelievers and sex addicts**(That sentence is a fail... please, honey, don't use the Lord's name in vain)** God and our lord Jesus Christ of Narrative**('Jesus Christ of Narrative' does anyone else see something wrong with this sentence?)**will not let anyone like that enter their eternal kingdom, nor will they let them work across the holy earthen ground. God bless the United States of the Holy North American Continent and Precedent George Bush**(Do not type that unholy name. No, anything George Bush I take to Gamzee for destruction)** for leading this fight against evil.

And the LORD plagued the people, because they made the calf, which Aaron made. =Exodus 32:35

And me and my girlfriend Mary, who is named after the Virgin Mary, who is also a virgin**(Coolio)**, waiting for me to marry her before we will have sex. We went to our room to read from the bible. Our gave her a private lesson on the third book of John. Although it short, it has many valued lessons such as ignoring false teachers such as Diotrephes who went against the true message of the church. We shall not allow people like these to mislead us ever again.**(Okay, what?)**

I will remember his deeds which he doeth, prating against us with malicious words. =3 John 10

And then went into main hall and Percy Jackson was there. He stood very tall looking down at us like David and Goliath, when they fought a battle to decide the fate of Holy Israel (If do not support Israel then stop reading thing for you will go to hell anyway).**(I support peace!)**

"Convert to the false Gods of the Greek and to the unknown God foretold in the Holy Bible, in the book of Acts," he yielded.**(He yielded.)**

"You have made a deeply mistake by taking me on heathen. Now you will be published by being sent to the eternals flames of hell**(So _that's _how Stephenie Meyer published her book!)**where you will be whipped for ever by Satan**(I did not know publishing hurt so much.)** for being fooled by him in the first place for he is evil and God is the great eternal thing ever. The unknown you talk about in the Holy Bible which is in the book of Acts is in fact the good of Israel, the God of the Bible, and the father of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ. All the gods of Greek are actually the devil, Lord Satan, in disguise. It is you that has been fooled. It is not too late for you to repent and follow the ways of our lord Jesus Christ who died on the cross and was raised three days later. His death paid for the sins of everyone around the world and he wants to pay for your sins as well. We are all sinners. So repent and you will be saved. All you have to do say (speak it out load to be save**(How do you speak out _load_?)** you unholy ones. If you do not do so, then to the depth of hell you unsaved souls will go forever!): _I believe in everyone that is spoken with this holy word, and will follow it so the full command, even ridding the world of those filthy atheists! Amen and amen! _This is all you have to say," I told a bald speech.**(Yes, your speechwas quite bald)**

"No I will never. I will always fool you by worshiping a false set of gods, Zeus the bastard king, and will secret preying to the lord of the darkness, Satan himself," Percy Jackson said.**(He's a stalker)**

This gave me no choose but to charge at Percy Jackson kill, but he got away in a cloud of smoke cause by witchery**(Caused by none other than Hagrid)** And it was then that I realised something. There was a traitor and I was my task to find this tractor out.**(HEY! This is just like the Last Olympian and Silena Beauregard!)**

But Jesus said unto him, Judas, betrayest thou the Son of man with a kiss? =Luke 22:48

And so I told the Prayer Warriors a story. It was of Judas and him betraying of Jesus Christ, our lord and Saviour. I wanted to find a way to find the traitor but it was no good. So I went to bed very scared.**(One, two, Freddy's coming for you...)**I had to find the traitor. Amen.

Believer in Christ: You are all traitors for mocking me and God and his eternal right hand son in the kingdom of heaven.  
>Jesus Christ: Yes you are right, they are traitors and they will get a traitor punishment. They will be sent to the lowest parts of hell, where it is the hottest. It will be heat that will kill them. Amen and amen.<p>

_Chapter Three Review_

_I like God. I dislike Thomas._


	4. Chapter 4

How dare you mock me?**(I mock you because you're a hypocrite, you dumb shit)**Do you realise that if you do not follow the true path of Christ you will burn in gell!**(Gell rhymes with 'Elle'. Hehe)** Repent now and you will be saved!

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life and only a few find it. =Matthew 7:13-14

The passage I have just read is from the gospel of Matthew and tells us that most people will burn in hell, but a few true followers will cherish the treasures of heaven. I am only doing my job in warning those of the flames of hell that awaits them. As for Percy Jackson, is corrupting the minds of young innocent children as the satanic works of Harry Potter**(Bitch, you did not just call my favorite series as a little bitch 'satanic'.)** where witches and wizards are allowed to still exist. The church made sure things such as this would go away**(Oh, you mean the Salem Witch Trials, were some little girls thought it would be funny to accuse innocent people of being mages and then causing them to _die_? Yeah, the church was totally right about that)** but it seems as if it has returned. I am only protecting you for your own good.**(You-protect-ME? Please, bitch.)** The Greek gods are just as bad as the satanic religions of today, where Buddhist priest with their false profits kill innocent people in aeroplane crashes**(You got messed up with another religion, you piece of dumb shit)**

And so my friend asked me what types of music is the most evil**(How much do you want to bet he's going to name Creature Feature (Have you fucking heard their music? Their moral is 'Bad things happen to bad people'.)** And I told them most music was evil**(But Justin I suck cock Bieber ain't, right?)** But there were a few musicians for so called protectors of their ways.

"Nirvana is the most evil band ever to walk the earth**(Leave Kurt Cobain ALONE. I don't really like Nirvana, but he's dead, so drop the subject, you MEDIOCRE DUNCE)** Not only did they name after a satanic way of thought, but they cause the death of many innocent people, due to the suicide of the coward Jurk Cobain**(You know, that joke would have been funny, if you had spelled _Jerk _right, you bafoon)**. Their music is too loud**(Oh, I wish you went to a Metallica concert)**, and they have evil Lyric such as 'God is gay**(Okay, I'll admit, that's not right. Cobain should have really left religion alone)**' (God and Jesus Christ, my lord and savoury, please forgive me for what I have just said. Please don't send me to hell). This is offensive to God and his eternal Son. Kurt Cobain only realised that he was being controlled by Satan at the last moment, so he killed himself. But because that was a sin, and cause millions of children to do the same thing, he is burning for eternality in hell. Do not one of the you listen to such evilness,**(Wow, that was quite a long ass speech)** I told them.

"I will never listen to them ever again," said Ethan Nakamura, once a follower of Satan, now a reformer, repenting his sins, and now he will be going heaven. This is what happens when you repent. You will go to heaven. Why would anyone reject something like this?**(Fly away, little butterfly, fly away)**

"Yes, and now another musicians that are bad is Green Day**(Why? Because they called Americans idiots? Which is totally true. About 80% of us are idiots who do things just because it's in)** They rejected Precedent George Bush**(I REJECT PRESIDENT BUSH!)** and support the evil Obama, the antichrist**(Okay, I don't like Obama because of his thoughts on abortion, but he is a pretty good president, I'll admit, I thought he was going to be a flop, but he's actually pretty good. And no, there has been no antichrist yet, unless you count the numerous fictional ones)** And they rejected the holy war**(_Holy_ war? What's so holy about this idiotic war? It's causing the death of people. War is stupid and in most cases absolutely pointless.)**in the middle, which resulted in the death of Osama Bin Laden, one of the Satan's main servents, now binging in hell. And the reject Christ and called America an idiot**(I don't give a ding bat shit if they're Athiest. I don't care what a band's religion is!)** Surely these beasts deserves to go to the depths of hel,**(Just because of their beliefs? Go eff yourself)**" I told them. They were all amazed at my wisdom**(_Wisdom_? Hahahahahha... more like the mouth of the all mighty stupid one)** Mary looked at me admirable**(Just like Dave and Marie)** Still I was uncomfortable, for their was a traitor out there, waiting to kill me, and killing is bad, and is a sin against lord Jesus Christ. Killing a Christian is a sin.**(Killing _anyone_ is a sin, regardless of your religion, gender, ect)**

Now therefore, behold, the LORD hath put a lying spirit in the mouth of all the false prophets, and the LORD hath spoken evil concerning thee. =1 Kings 22:23

And Thalia Grace came and repented in the main hall crying that she would not want to follow the ways of Satan. However, I did saw beyond her disgusting lies and stabbed her in her heart**(And this comes from the guy that says killing Christians is a sin, you little dumbshit)** And she died**(I'm pretty sure you'd die if you got stabbed in the heart)** If she was telling the truth she would die a Christians death, if she was lying, she would be burning the flames of the eternal hell.**(Were did jell go?)**

And then we practice the ways of sword**(Oh, so you guys are samuris now?)** for we knew the time was soon coming where the final battle between us and the evil followers of Satan, Percy Jackson as their leader, would come and kill us all**(Yes, Jerry, now do me a favor and shoot yourself)** and we had to all be prepared incase this would happen, as if it did happen, we would all be dead**(Yeah, so you guys are going to die either way, why practice. It's kind of stupid, actually)**and no one would be there to battle the eternal God and his only holey begotten son, lord and savior, Jesus Chris of Narrative**(Who the heck is Jesus Chris of _Narrative_? My hubby boo (Garrison) has a brother named Jesse)**and all hope would be lost for all eternal, unless the traitor got to us first, then in which we would still be dead and the message of Jesus Christ, protector of all, would not be teach to all people of this holy earth, but instead full trapped to the ways of the evil lord Stan**(Wow, Stan has gone a long way since South Park, I salute you, Stan)** for he will kill everyone on this earth, and killing is morally wrong, unless it is defending the faith.**(No, killing is wrong. _Period)_**

Meanwhile, in the headquarters of Percy Jackson….**(Yeah, Percy has _headquarters_ now. Smooth, real smooth)**

We must invade tonight in the glory of Zues, the false god of Satran**(Okay, who the fuck is _Satran_?)**. We must get rid of all the prayer warriors and turn the temple for their God, and lord and saviour Jedi Christ**(Why did you have to bring Star Wars into this? Why, why?)** to a false god temple," he said.

"Yes," said his slaves Bianca di Angelo, Nico di Angelo, Nico di Angelo, Bianca di Angelo**(Apparently, the parents got tired and named their kids Nico,Bianca,Nico, and Bianca)**and Grover Underwood. "We will do the biddings of Satan disguised as Satan**(How do you disguise yourself by being yourself?)**."

To be continued…..

See, people can be saved. All they have to do is admit to being a sinner, repent and become a true Christ, and not a false one, like the Church of England**(One of my best friends is from England)**, who will burn in hell for their sins. Devoicing is a sin**(Okay, I'm going to pretend that's spelled right and do a long rant about it:**

**My parents are divorced. I'm an only child with divorced parents. Divorcing is _not_ a sin if you're doing it for a good reason.**

**So, knowing you, I know you would want the woman to be abused in a relationship and not get a divorce. But, men are abused, too, and you're really being a stupid piece of shit.**

**Go and rot in a hole with your sexist ideas, fucking asshat)**and will be punished by being thrown into the flames of hell. Aman.

_Chapter Four Review-_

_What a nice way to end the chapter. Burn in gell, Jerry. Burn._


	5. Chapter 5

I have decided to go under my real name**(Do you mean 'Douchey Motherfucker'?)**, that is Thomas Brown**(I am making a story with a character by the name of Victor Brown. Thanks to you, I have to pick a new last name)** for all those have booked me for my username BelieverInChrist. Although I am still living within Christ, I must be separate, for I still have things to do, like making you all believe in his holy name.**(I'm sorry, I do not know of the evil, hateful god which you worship. My God is a loving and forgiving god)**

Also note, I am not a belieber**(You like Justin Bieber? You are officially a fail)** like other people are saying. I do not know you are getting stuff like that from**(We're getting it off of the _internet_, Mr. Ballsacks)**but it is not true. I am a believer, not a belieber, what ever that is I do not know.**(STOP TALKING LIKE EQUIUS! YOU ARE NOT MY HUSBAND'S PATRON TROLL! OKAY?)**

I also like to note that I am not mocking Percy Jackson**(Lies...)** I am just making note of the evilness that it is. Along with Harry Potter, The Golden Campus, and the Narnia series**(You do know that Narnia is a _Christian_ series, right?)**it is the most evilness this world has ever seen, beside Stan that is.**(Okay, Stan is a foul mouthed little boy, but he is _not_ evil)**

I am also not a troll. A troll is a fantasy creative that only exist in fake books**(Okay, according to the internet a troll is either someone like you, or one of the twelve Homestuck trolls. You are the first one)** As its not in the bible, it is not ture at all. Do not bee**(Homestuck reference. Do _not_ bring Sollux into this, or I will be forced to kill you)**ooled by lies such as that. All book aside from the holy bible, which is Latin for the book, are a lie. Remember that people.

I will also like to take note that I can speak Latin, such as this holy set of words: Ego vere fidelis in cuniculis.**(Ego Vera fidles in culens?)**

And so the devil and Percy Jackson talked in private**(Because Percy Jackson is totally a satanist)** in Percy Jackson private mansion in England**(Why in England?)**, for they allow satanic people to walk among us, (curse them all! Burn in hell buoy foul besets)**(What did the cat goddess ever do to you, huh?)**for they needed to get away from all their evil followers, willing to do anything just to enter the heavenly gate of heaven just so that they can get this evil hands on the heavenly goods. And so the devil walked back and forward in the depths of hell, thinking the order he would give to his most devoted follower, Percy Jackson, who has now changed his name to Percy Judas,**(That's actually really stupid... just like you!)**for it made more sense seeming that he was a traitor to the faith, for he had once believe in Christ our lord and salary**(No, Jesus is not my paycheck. That's blasphemy)**, but became corrupted as time went one.

"And what must we do to please you wicked one, dear lord and master of all that is evil, and against the godness of God!," Percy Judas told him. Satan had been in a bad mood today**(Isn't Satan like _evil_?)** so he was really angry, as Percy Jackson had escaped from good hero Jerry **(Jerry is a vermin, not a hero)**that day, instead of killing him in the name of the dark lord Satan.

"Thou shall kill Percy or you shall die yourself,**(Let me get this straight: Percy Judas has to kill himself, or else Stan will kill him?)**" he commanded him. So he bowed.

"I will serve you for always as omg you live**(WHO LIVES?)**," Percy Jackson said.

(Because you are wondering why Jerry knows about the traitor, God warned him in his sleep the night before the attack**(He's psychotic!)**.

"Now go kill him or I will bring wrath across you and your friend Grover,**(Yeah, Percy Judas, go kill yourself because Satran wants you to)**who I would be willing to have as a sacrifice instead. I will make you walk this earth wishing you had kill Jerry**(Wait, now they're going to kill _Jerry_? I need ibeproufen)**ow go and kill. And also, I have palace a traitor among Jerry and his friend. I will not tell who the traitor is, but he will be the person that will tell you this word Deus mortuus**(The god of death! It's Thatanos!)** None of his follower will know what this means, but all you will do."**(It's in Latin, I believe. See 'Deus' means 'god' and mortis has something to do with death!)**

And so he went out looking for Jerry and find him and kill, but first hind the traitor first.**(WHAT? You can't _kill_ the god of _death_. Common sense, douchebag!)**

Dear God, forgive me for writing this chapter, and saying bad things about you, but I do knot mean it. I will also obey you and tell all people of the your wonderful, loving, dogful behaviour**(Did you just say God has the behavior of a _dog_? STOP! BLASPHEMY!)** Amen.

_Chapter Five Review- _

_What? How can this kid call himself a 'Christian', yet say 'Jedi Christ' and 'God's dogful behavior'. That's blasphemy, you little 8itch._


	6. Chapter 6

I know what a troll is**(It's a magical little creature from Alternia, right?)**. I looed it up on Conservapedia**(Okay?)** (God bless that holy website), which is fare more reliable than the liberal Wikipedia**(Hey, I LOVE WIKIPEDIA!)**. A troll is a creature, not someone that has two identity**(No, someone who has two personalities is called a _Sybil._)** If you are going by me having two names, BelieverInChrist (God bless that holy website) and Thomas Finn Brown, than yes, I am a troll**(No, you're a _Sybil._)**. But I see no proof that a troll is what you say it is, and I believe Conservapedia more.**(I don't. Conservapedia is just a ripoff of Wikipedia for insufferable pricks like you)**

And I am a true Christian. I am mot mocking it. I am being brutally honest**(You're brutal. Honest? Not so much)**. People must suffer painful deaths before they are rewarded with the treasures of heathen**(Yeah, I think I'm going to suffer so I can get treasures of _heathen_)** Us Christian will suffer many playful deaths**(Why do I feel that there's subliminal necrophilia in this passage?)** but they will not be in vain, for wee will destroy all the nonbeleivbers. And I will also like to say, atheist feel nothing. They are being controlled by the devil so it is not sinful to get rid of them.**(I'm pretty sure Athiests feel things. They're humans too, you know)**

And so Jerry went back to his room to teach Mary even more, but also about how a woman must behave**(Here it is... the sexissmmmm)** for we deceived that it was time for us to get married**(So you tricked her into marrying you.)** And so a explained to her that a wife must follow a man, even to his grave if need be.**(Okay, if my husband decides to jump off a cliff, I wouldn't jump with him. I still love you,Gar-Bear.)**And I told her told plait her hare up **(Good, I'm going to wear my hair like Samara's...)**or it was a offense to God and his holy eternal son Jesus Christy, our lord and savour.

And so we decided that we would get married in the weekend for it was Sunday and that was God`s day, and he will sorely blessed**(I swear, this is a sexual subliminal message)** us. And we decided to wear white, both of us, for the color black was an evil colour**(EXCUSE ME?)**and a offensive to Gog.**(He just brought in Homestuck... I am going to TEAR YOU APART!)**

And so Joey talked the gathering that had just been created, "Bow to false gods like Percy Jug**(What's so bad about jugs? They're just jugs. LEAVE JUGS ALONE, AFTER ALL THEY'VE DONE FOR YOU!)**has done and you will surely bun in heath, for it is an offensive to God. They actually give good to their false gods, which is really offensive, such as to Zeus who married a whore Artimis**(Artemis is a _virgin_ goddess. You can't be a whore if you're a virgin.)** And although they claim to fight against the so called evil god (they are all evil, so don't worried about that) Hades**(Hey, Hades is my patron Greek god... leave the poor bastard alone)** even if Zeus son Poseidon**(Poseidon is Zeus' _brother_.)** disagrees with that. How can we accept such a lie like as truth. I will not. The Bible is fare more simple, stating the you must believe in God or you burn in hell, how simple is that? The Bible is the most beliebable**(See, he's a belieber)** simple, and convincing book ever. No matter how much J K Rowling can lie, he will never get a book better than the Bible, not matter how many people like his Books Hairy Potter and Percy Jackson, whos book is based on him. The Bible is truth, there is not doubt about that." And they clapped for my speech for it was a great speech.**(No, it was a stupid and senseless speech. Now, bitch. Shut up)**

And so Grober came tot he miami hall**(So, now Jerry lives in _Miami?_ With those girls with short shorts and shirts showing their cleavage?)**And he said as a warning to me, "I will come to warn you of my brothers plain to kill**(Grover doesn't have brothers, from what I recall)** Convert to the false gods of a the greeks now or you will die a very gruesome death. Mahahahahaha."**(Um... what's up with the crazy Juggalo laugh, dude?)**

I was not plead at with Grover so I got his head and broke it**(Wait, didn't he already die in the _first chapter?_)**, and then stabbed him in the heard**(Since when do satyrs have _heard_? I know they have hearing.)** and pulled his eyes out**(EYE SANDWHICHES!)** He lied there lifelessness. Suddenly, Percy Hanson**(I like Hanson soda!)** came out of nowhere an attacked me for no reason why so ever. I was able to attack him in the throat**(LIKE A BOSS!)**, but he got away yet again. I decided that my task was to go after him and make sure he suffered.**(Percy is da sufferoor.)**

And so I got married to Mary and we went into our beds for the first time**(And you fucked. Congratulations. Please use a condom so no other shit for brain idiots will live here)**(I will not describe what happened for I do not want any atheist to get pleasure out of it and have an organism**(Because that's totally what it's called. You fail at life and everything else)**). And then she tired to convince me not to go after Percy Judas, but I decided that my mind had been mad up, I was to kill Percy Jackson even if it killed me**(I hope you burn in gell, Gary, Jerry)**. I would die for God and his holy eternal Son Judas Christ**(WHAT? _Blasphemy! Blasphemy!_)**, our lord and saviour.**(That's worse than calling him 'Jedi Christ')**

And so I went out there and walked to the mansion of Percy Jackson. I was hoeing to kill him**(You were going to become a ho to kill him?)** Amen.

_Chapter six Review-_

_He just called Jesus 'Judas'. No, no, no._

_Hell no._


	7. Chapter 7

I am not a troll **(Oakay, if you're not a troll, I'm not a person)**nd I am being serious here, you must repent or burned in hell**(What happened to gell?)**. Satan will disguise as anything**(Even an old grandpa in a wheelchair... shoutout to 'The Rex's)** to trick you to send yourself to hell. God does not sell people to hell, it is yourself that did it. Donut**(Ooh! Donuts)** say anything wrong with this greatest story ever!**(No, I'm pretty sure 'The Odyssey' is one of the greatest stories ever.)**

And so Jerry went and talked to his follower, who Mary the Virgin**(Okay, do we really need to know if she was a virgin or not?)**was in the crown (I never had sex with her for it is unlawful to do so for being Virgin when you die will be better to be seen as when you are infront of God**(Says you)**). And he opened his moth**(Why would you do that? Opening moths is not cool!)** "Which laws are biding that these fools are following. Percy Jackson and his friend worship false demons in a vain attempt to defeat us. They are unlawful, unlike us who are**(So, you guys are lawful? EXECUTE THEM!)** We the Best Borrow church**(Hey, look, they _are_ Westboro)** believe that the law should be biding to all. We believe also that freedom and library should be given to all**(Yes, let's give libraries away!)**. I also believe in gum control.**(But I like gum!)**

"Of all laws that are important, it is the lawalty to hog**(warts)**that is important. How can we live without God? He created us so that we could worship him deerly**(Bambi!)**. He created the law so we must obey it all. To all those who follow wicket ways such ass Percy and his fools**(I'm pretty sure Percy isn't a donkey)**, who worship false Gods such as Zeus and Venus, who were mothers**(Truly, what's wrong with being a _mother?_ Don't _you_ have a mother, you cow?)**nd lovers, such a sinful way**(Because being in love is _sooo_ wrong)**. How could you worship these foul beasts, for they are sinful in the site of God.

"And what about murder**(Oh, yeah. You kill a bunch of people, Jerry)** We do not commit murder,**(So killing a freaking satyr isn't murder?)**but Percy Jackson does. He say he is battling beasts**(He would _never_ kill Chiron. I don't care if he's a centaur, he's friends with the party ponies!)** but they are ture followers of God**(Yeah, I just imagined a bunch of satyrs, centaurs, and bronies at a church... Oh, gog, this is hilarious)** How can we let people like this keep being alive?**(Hey, centaurs are people too... CENTAURTESTICLES FOR LIFE!)**They should be rid of and sent to hell for punchiness**(Garrison, they founjd my punch... must kill that stupid saytyr)** Murder is a sin, as told in the Bible, and so all the law must be obeyed. They are evil, but we are good for we do not murder people. How can you deny that? If you deny that, you will be sent to hell.

"And steeling is a crime for God says so in the Bible. God is the deniable trust and must be obeyed and followed under all cost, for breaking this law will be against God`s law. Even if a family is starving, if child is caught stealing, his hands must be cut off**(JOHNNY, NO!)**. If lies, than their other hands must be cut off**(In the words of Lydia McKinley "Oh, mother fucker, give me my fucking baby's hands back."** Do not let sinners have the sight of day, for it is publishment of Godo**(Grodo's in this? I love Dead Ed.)**

"An lying is a sin, for God tells us so. Lying makes truthful seem like a lie**(Um... okay?)**. Lying can only leed to troubles, such as the Percy Jackson, who has sent a traitor to kill me**(*Takes off mask* It's me, bro, it's me...do you like my OTP?**

**Garrison: *Facedesk*)** (but I decided not to tell my followers yet of this, for the parrot could come out at any moment**(Oh my gosh? Polly's in this? YES! YES!)**) is a lie to us all. Satan lies, therefore it is a sin. Satan sins, God does god**(*Tries not to laugh* No, please, dear Lord, no. BLASPHEMY)** Lying should be published with stoning.**(WEED IS ILLEGAL!)**

"And I end my speed to day with a prey for God: 'Prey**(*Pounce of the lion* Mewo, Equius!)**for all the nonbelievers for they do not know what they are doing to us, let them see the way so that they can become unsinful people, if not they should be punished with flames of hurl**(This just gave me an image of Equius hurling Assradia off a cliff... I hate you, that would NEVER happen)**. Believe at as a warning to you all for you must be published for all you sins**(Isn't that what Facebook's for?)** for it is an offensive to Good. Believe it so and you will get a eternal life at the revelation that John forward telled in his epic work Resolution**(There is _no_ Book of Resolutions in the Bible)**(read it for answer in the after life, and the punishment of sinners, for it all is ture). And so it all ends', anen.**(Who's Anen?)**

Suddenly from my room came Mary**(Oh, please, not _that _bitch again)**(for I had lifted her there from the wonderful knight before) cam out of my room and yelled…**("I sucked your dog's mutant cocks!)**

….."O god has given me a holey message for you to telly you. I am pregnant!"**(Poor baby. Poor, poor baby)**

_Chapter Seven Review-_

_What is Jerry's hate towards poor mythical beings? And honestly, I feel sorry for Mary. And isn't Jerry a virgin? So how can Mary be pregnant with his child?_


	8. Chapter 8

How dare you mock me**(I mock you because I can! Now, clean my boots)** I am being honest to you all, if you do not repent, you will burn in hell. Without God and his holy eternal son Jesus Christ, then you will not the rewards of heaven and immortal life under God. I am not a troll**(Y0u tell lies, Amp0ra)**and I never told I was a troll.**(Your mother**

**Garrison: WHAT?**

**Me: I don't fucking care anymore. I need a life *Walks away and plays haunting refrain on bongos*)** You have all been mistaken. Satan lies to you all for he wants to drag you to the eternal flames of hell!

I tell you all, there are people that will not burn in hell! These people will not burn in hell, for they are been blessed in the ways of Christ: WolvesRule612,**(No, wolves will eat you alive)**Fulcon**(You spelled _Falcon_ wrong, you moron)** Cimh,**(Um...)** Agent Aleu, the holy bwobble for he has supported me, and Lisa`s Hope, the new St Paul who turned away from sinful ways of being an atheist, but seeing the light and believe in the one true God and his son the Eternal Jesus, son of the only true God. There are many more who will see the ways of heaven, but many will suffer the pains of hell for believing in a false lie, such as Mr Rowling,**(Who is this Mr. Rowling you speak of? I only know of a Mrs. Rowling)**who is a man because women should never be able to speak**(What. Did. You. Say? *Gets out katana* Oh, come at me, bro)** they must obey their husbands at all cost, and if they do not have a husband**(Just follow your smuppets if you don't have a husband)**, they should follow their father, for it is their father that brought them into the world,**(I will qoute a part of the opera 'The Baby is You'... 'Some babies crawl out of... mommy')**just like what God did in the Book of Genesis, which for all your uneducated Atheists is the first book in the Bible. You should read it, and you will understand the true love God gave to use by creating this world for us to live in.

And as I talked to my followers about the evilness of Percy Jackson and his friends, Mary came out from my bedroom and told me that see was pregnant with a child.**(And that Jerry would give birth to it)** And I asked her what the sex was**(Sex is... just gets the buckets!)** for it was important to know. I wanted to have a son so that I could name him after myself, which is Thomas**(I thought your name was Jerry. Stop changing your name!)**

"Yes, it is a boy,**(How the fuck do you know, Mary? You're only like three days pregnant)**so it will be named after you**(Elle? Florence? Ampora?)**", she said. I was very pleased**(You're naming your baby boy after _me_)**. However, I was annoyed that she had spoken out of term for a women should wait to they are in private before they talk to their husband**(I have a katana and I'm not afraid to use it)** as what St Paul said in one of his epistles. "Women should be silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak**(That's about gossip, you intelligent child)**, he said in the First Empties to the Corinthians, do you dare tell me that I know nothing about the Bible. I have read it many times, and I am an expert in it all.**(Yeah, that's why you called Jesus a jedi)**

And so she was made to go to her room, for she should rest, before the baby comes.**(Yeah, like in nine months, you douche muffin)**Let her make clothes, for it is a job for women**(Garrison, go make clothes)**, and not for men.**(Isabelle, you damn bitch, quit making clothes!)** And so I taught even more to everyone, for they were interested in my wisdom,**(If by wisdom, you mean _stupidity, _then yes)**or I was very wise, like King Solomon, of the same royal line as our Lord and Savour Jesus Christ, the only begotten son of the only God Jesus.

And suddenly, came then came Zeus with Percy Jackson**(*Standing ovation*)**, his false son.**(Don't you mean _adopted_ son)** And they warned that they will attack us **(So, they freaking decide to tell you they're going to attack. Fuckasses)**ithout remorse, and kill every one of us**(YES! Please do!)**. And I said, be gone Satan for you is not welcome here, and so they want away**(Seriously? SERIOUSLY? They just went away)** And they went to their mansion to plan their next move.**(**

**Me: We must plan our My Immortal commentary...**

**Isabelle: Umm... can their be kitties!**

**Me: No, you freaking kitty lover**

And so I went to the church in the next town, for it was far away for them so know about Percy Jackson. And I warned them of their attack. And so it was agreed that I could stay there for a week, for I had to hide away from the traitor, who I knew was about to attack that week, for Percy Jackson told me so.**(Can you like hide in a coffin?)**

And then it was there that I realised who the traitor was**(It was... MITT ROMNEY! That gogdamn Republican!)** It was Ethan**(I am Team Ethan for life, I'm so glad he's the traitior, now)** for he had worshipped false gods, who were disguised as Satan. Once a Satanist, always a Satanist.**(Once a Troll Reaper, always a Troll Reaper!)** He had lied, and not really repented. And So I decided to stay, and decided to leave after the week, for I needed to hide. And then it was decided that I would return to my followers and save them from the traitor.**(Why don't you just save them now? You are _so_ damn selfish, Jerry)**

nd other people will be saved also, like Mel Gibson,**(Since when did Mel Gibson come into the story? Can Nicholas Cage be in it, too? Or maybe Gerard Way!)**for he put his woman in her place**(So, you think it's okay for people to beat up their wives?)** and for making a great movie about our lord and savvier Jesus Christ, and Christ Brown**(Who the heck is Christ Brown?)**, for we both share the same surname,**(Hi, my surname is Chatsworth)**but not the same Christian name, and he also knows where to put his woman in her place.**(Beating a woman up does not mean putting her in her place. My hubby would _never_ hit me. If he did..jhgfdeyytresjhgfdztnfdshgfds That was me making a headdesk)**And there are many other people that cannot mention for I have very little room to say so, but I will say who they are in a latter chapter, for it well known that people will be saved from the fires of hell. But all nonbelievers must be punished. Amen.**(BYE!)**

_Chapter Eight Review_

_Next up, My Immortal. Plus, I really want to beat Tomas up for saying the women should be beaten up just because they're not afraid to speak their minds. Tomas, I have a chainsaw, and I'm seriously not afraid to use it._


	9. Chapter 9

hare**(Share what?)**

You hacker will bun**(Hot dog buns? *Lets go of Oreos* WHERE?)**in hell for eternal life for you have sinned against God**(How the freaking flibber-jabbers are hot dog buns sinning against God?)** And to claim that it was all a lie is also a sin.**(But hot dogs aren't lies *Cries in a corner*)**You will be punished for surely, for I am for real**(We don't doubt it)** I am a prophet of the lord, and I will get my own way**(You're not a prophet, you're a troll)** You are not who you say you are, and however dare you call yourself a real believer in Christ**(BECAUSE I AM, YOU TOOL)**! A hacker is only been sent by Stan**(No, he was sent by _Cartman_, gogdammnit!)**as a lie to make me look like a fool, but I same not a fool, but it is you that is a fool for hacking my account in the first place**(Hacker, I salute you)**. You a will be surveying in the flames of the eternal claims of hell! You dare take me on when I have Dog on my seed!**(You have a dog on your _semen_? Oh, gog!)** I am a protest of the lord**(How can you be a Christian if you protest God?)**and his give my power above all you you. Donut**(More donuts?)** dare take me on again, for hacking is a sin, and will be punished as such.**(Yeah, about that...)**

"And number eleven is in face number seven,**(Is this a nursery rhyme)**so said the lord on his holy day of death**(I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't say _anything_ on his day of death about eleven)**. Didn't I tell you how much of a fool you will be if you say such evil things to the lord and his holey son of Christ, Jesus our saviour, lord protector of all!" Jerry told his followers. And than he whinnies baked top his church**(What? Are you cooking horses?)**, in which he wet**(GUYS EJACULATE, NOT GET WET, AND THAT'S DISGUSTING, THAT REALLY WAS NOT NEEDED!)**and faced his traitor. And it was none of other than Micheal that stood at the gates.

"You are too late! For it was Percy Jackson that made your wife pregnant**(Woah, Percy, at least use some damn protection if you're going to be fooling with someone else's wife.)** She is the traitor**(But I thought Ethan was, dammnit!)**. So what mystic should we do to this creel women of a whore!**(You know what, she is _not _a whore. If I were your wife, and you would refuse to have sex with me for some idiotic reason and not show me affection because 'it's bad', and abuse me, I'd dump your sorry ass)**he assed me.

"And I told him"**(Why is _that_ part in qoutation marks?)**take her to the tallest tower, and throw her from there, and if she is not dead, stone her to death. And if that does not work, remove the head**(And I will only say one thing... she's fucking pregnant)** like I did to Grover in the epic battle the first chapter, and if you have not read that, go back and read it, or sleep you will go to hell!**(We're going to hell if we don't approve of your sensless violence?)**Beware of my warring!

And so Michael took her and killed her, along with the baby, who was Percy Jackson`s son**(WHAT? The baby has no fault in this. It's just a baby, and it's not its fault who its parents are. This is the reason I don't believe in abortion, unless it's life and death)** And so we had prayers. And then came Percy Jackson yelling "How dare you kill me wife"**(Did you just bring in _SadoMasoNecroRoboBestiality_? You do NOT mess with AradiaxEquius... that's my OTP. 'Once I did it to this frog, and now that frog's me wife!)**

And I replayed," it was not your wife in the first pplace**(Eridan,wwhat the fuck are you _doing_ here?)**. So be gone from this site, or else I will have to deform you**(I'd like to see Jerry _try_)** Stan has lisped to you**(Apparently, I have all reason to believe that this is now a Southpark and Homestuck crossover. Anyone else agree?)** Now you must realise your mistake, or I will be forced to remove you head just like I have done to my wire,**(I did not know that you could remove a wire's head)**who claimed to be a virgin bit was only a whore**(His wife was a dildo, obviously)**

"No, will not submit at all!" yelled Percy Jaqson.**(Hey, Ichigo)**

So we battled with swords**("Can you teach a baby to fight crime? Like, with a katana?")** on the top of the roof of the building,**(This is _definitely_ a Homestuck fanfiction. Where else do we find two teens fighting on a roof with fucking katanas?)**for we had agreed for the battle to be taken place there, for it was a goofy site for all of my followers to see my victory**(And now you had to bring _Disney_ into this? It's bad enough that you're defiling Homestuck)**But my sword let go from my hand and it dropped to the ground**(And then you grew wings and became Davesprite, right? *Eyeroll*)** I tied to pick it up, but I could not. Percy Jackson was a better fighter than me. So I prayed to God that he would have mercy on me, and on Percy Jackson, for he had only been following orders from Satan himself.

And Percy Jackson dropped his sword and realised something**(That he was gay for Grover?)** He had seen the lord himself. "I will never worship a false god ever again. Satan, Zeus who climbed to be my father is only a lie.**(That's quite sexual, wouldn't you agree with me?)**My father is now God and his only eternal son Jesus Christ! Behold I convert to your way."**(*EPIC HEADDESK*)**

And so a baptized Percy Jackson, who renamed himself Percy of Christ**(Yeah, and you renamed yourself Jerry the Blasphemous)** and we had many hours of prayer, along with Mary, who survived the stoning**(WHAT?)** who I had forgiven.**(You forgave her _after_ you tried to kill her and her baby. Five star parenting for you!)** And we plotted the attack on Satan and his false gods. And now we had the knowledge of Percy of Christ. Amen.

See, people can become followers of Chris**(Follower of Chris Brown? Yeah, I'd rather be 'torqued')** And now Perch of Christ will be saved and taken to the eternal clowns of heaven**(I just imagined a bunch of Juggalo angels)** Amen and amen.

_Chapter Nine Review-_

_Hahahaha. Oh my gosh, 'eternal clowns of heaven'._

_Elletheundead_


	10. Chapter 10

Stop reviewing my great story if you hate it.**(You're story is not that great, no, it is the biggest piece of shit I have _ever_ read.)**ou will burn in hell anyway!**(You will, too)**There is not point in trying to save you at all for you have ben corrupted by powers of evol,**(Doesn't E.V.O.L. stand for something?)** and that is Satan! And no Stan, I have no idea what that is**(Um...very well)** Only review this story if there is something good to say or that you agree with every I say. All the rest of you are sick**(But we're not as sick as you!)** You should not allow such evil things such as gays, women in power,**(Really? Because women in power are so evil? And what have gays ever done to you?)** and people that are crippled in the minds.**(ASSHOLE)**

And so I, Percy of Christ**(More like Percy of the Idiot, because making fun of the mentally invalids is _not_ funny)** went up to the staples**(I was at Staples yesterday!)**to prey for my holey sole!**(So you went to Staples to buy _soles_ for your holey shoes? That's what Footlocker is there for)**I had sinned so much, believing in such a lie that I whipped myself for God`s forgiveness**(You _whipped_ yourself?)**, for I was not wordy of such as blessing**(You're right, you're not)**. I wanted to end my life,**(*Facedesk*)**but I realised that suicide is a sin and that I would burn in hell if I did so. Suicide must be published at all coast!**(Someone's heard too much Pitbull)**

I went to Jerry for advice and he gave me berry god advise**(Berry god? Who is _that_? I've actually never heard of a _berry_ god)**, and that was not to follow the evil ways of the geek gods**(Yes, because apparently, geeks are gods to you *Headdesk*)**and follow the only true way and that was through our lord Jesus Christ, my only saviour, and not that liar of a father Zeus (I know Greek motherly very weal)**(Yeah, because Zeus totally has a vagina)**. And he also said that I had to convert all those that had been left alive, for they must too know the greatness that is Jesus Christ, and that they had been follow false ways!

And so I went to the place where my old fiend Rachel**(So now you're a 'Misfits' fan? Oh, please, anything but the Misfits!)** who I had dated on and off for the past few years (I did have sex with her in past,**(Wait, Rachel's a _virgin_ oracle)**but I have changed so don't you put this in the wrong way**(You're still not a virgin)**). And I said to here "Why must you follow those fools. I know you very well, you would beaver worship any false God**(You would _beaver_ worship? What the hell?)**because I know you were a Christian before I put you in this mess.**(No, you worshiped _beavers_)** I now ask you to help me and in my quest to bring Christendom to the Camp, and remove all the evilness that it contains. Please help me, you are my only hope!"**(PLEASE, SWEET PERCY OF IDIOT, PLEASE!)**

"Yes I will," she said. "I knew you were not like anyone else**(You were an asshole, right?)**. I believe you.**(Well, I don't)** We must defeat these evils gods and Satan before they destroy anything else! I will follow you and obey you every order**(Roxy: Speak to a masochist**

**Elle: Roxy? WHAT?**

**Roxy: Yes, theFeaturedCreature is here. Clap, I love you all.**

**Elle: Dammnit, Rex, get out!**

**Roxy: Oh...okay.)**. I will not speak out of term**(Why? Because she's a woman? Fuck you!)**, and I will make sure I am a foot away from you at all times, for it is an offense for a women to go suck an thig**(Suck my dirk)** I am a Prayer Warrior now and I want you to baptize me and my family, for none of us our baptized**(Then Jerry continues to say that Rachel's dad doesn't have any _testes_)**"

So I baptized all of her family, and they all became followers of our lord and choir Jesus Christ**(When I was in band, we were called 'Violinists and Vaudevillians'... no, my choir program was _not_ called 'Jesus Christ')** I knew from that very moment that I would make a very good Preyer Warrrior and that Jerry of Christ would be very proud of me.**(Roxy, you gotta listen to this!)**

"And behold my wisdom! For this is like Sodom and their wicked ways. God had warn them of all their sinning, and all of their ways of evil. He old them to stop worshiping Satan, and all other forms of evil sexual acts, and instead, follow his holy laws, that's is the ten commandments, or else they will destroy them. If the Camp do not follow the ways of Christ, God will destroy them. But God gives us a warning. Follow Christ or you will be punished with the eternal salads of Hell**(Salads of hell! Salads of hell!... breathe, Elle, breathe, Elle)**" I, Percy of Christ told them all! And they were amazed at my wisdom!**(I'm not.. I'm amazed at Nettie's life...)**

Stop reviewing my story**(NEVA!)** All you bring with you is fate and disgusting comments. None of you are true followers of the one true god! Truly convert or you will suffer! Amen.

_**Elle-AND ROXY, LULZ-**_

_**Chapter 10 review-**_

_**Due to that little inconvenience of the dearest Roxy (TheFeaturedCreature) Rex, I have decided to say one thing about this chapter.**_

_**THIS IS SO BAD THAT EVEN ROXY WOULDN'T REVIEW IT. I love you, Rex.**_


	11. Chapter 11

I am not evil!**(Oh, yes you are!)**I am striper of the lotd**(So you are a happy candy striper of Lord of the _Dirks? Dicks? Daves? Dumbass? _Yeah, Lord of the Dumbasses)** I am not a troll**(You're right. You're too dumb to be a troll)**! I have said this many times and you will not listen to me! I am being serious! There is not error at al! **(vbg njuufhjhucfhuvfgug... that was me headdesking, and yes, there _is_ an error)**And my account was hacked***(By a person who was _drunk_ hacking... see, even drunk hackers are smarter than you)** The hacker is lying! Do not beliebe it.**(Not only is he a bigot, he is a BELIEBer... more reasons to hate)**And there is good bands, such as The Beatles**(I would diss this, but the Beatles is _hella sweet_)**Their song Let It Be is a prayer to God and how they want everyone to know his undying love and that they were telling their story of their life. And Lilith was an atheistic lie**(She's part of Hebrew _mythology_)**. The Bible came from God, and nothing was ever cut out. That is the Koran that had stuff cut out.**(No comment)**

I, Jerry,**(I, Elle)** went to the temple and announced to all my friends that Percy of Christ**(Was pregnant)** had convert all of Rachael's household and was working on convert the rest of the camp that had fullen to false ways.**(Fullen rhymes with Cullen, does this mean they became _Twitards_?)**

And then I said, "in the book of Exodus there was a mighty battle, and it was because of the courage of Moses that they won. I have courage and that means that we will win this battle. Do not lose hope, like all the nonbeleivers out there, for they deny God, and worshiper Satan and a beastly whore Artois**(Artemis isn't a whore... okay? Yeah, let's get that straight. She's a fucking _virgin_)**We must be fuel of courage**(Gasoline?)**. That way we will be able to defeat those without courage, such as the evil Greek Gods! Once we have done that, than we can work onto the false evil Roman Gods, that once reign across the Roman Empire, but Constantine was able to defeat the evil Gods and made Jesus in rule of all of time!**(Um, I'm pretty sure that Jesus wasn't alive when Constantine was ruling...no, I'm completely sure)**

"Now it is time to do such a thing. We must not focus one evil thing, but all evil thing**(ThingS, it's plural, honey)** That is why I am sending one of my massagers **(That's _disgusting)_**o England to warn those there, for they allow Witches and Wizards to live**(Holy shit, Harry Potter is a fucking work of _fiction,_ damn it!)** They have a school there that allows these people to live**(You realize Hogwarts doesn't _exist_)**. This evil school is called Hogwarts, and must be destroyed at all coast!**(Nick and Dave: Destroying Coasts... coming to a fuckass theatre near you)**

"Behold Michaela**(WTF?)** who warmed me of the attack will help me on thesis quest**(Hey, you _finally_ stated your thesis)**! Although he might not be here in person,**(Because there _is_ no character called Micheala)**we will support in Prayer! His story will be told in another story,**(Oh, Micheala's a dude)** so that it can gain maximum impact, and convert more people.**(You'll never take me alive. NEVER!)** Amen.

I will be writing another story The Prayer Warriors: Battle With The Itches**(*Throws some ointment*)**! Read it to be safe, speak it to saved!**(*Screams* BATTLE OF THE ITCHES!)**

_**Chapter 11 Review-**_

_**Well, this chapter was really a filler. It was boring and doesn't help the plot move forward one bit.**_

_**ElletheUndead**_


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